When Blogging Boner came across this treasure trove of totally inappropriate ways to describe a female’s privates, he couldn’t help but share it with the rest of the universe.

Enjoy. Or, more than likely, move along.

vagina, pussy, bearded clam, vertical smile, beaver,
cunt, trim, hair pie, bearded ax wound, tuna taco, fur
burger, cooch, cooter, punani, snatch, twat, lovebox,
box, poontang, cookie, fuckhole, love canal, flower,
nana, pink taco, cat, catcher’s mitt, muff, roast beef
curtains, the cum dump, chocha, black hole, sperm
sucker, fish sandwich, cock warmer, whisker biscuit,
carpet, love hole, deep socket, cum craver, cock
squeezer, slice of heaven, flesh cavern, the great
divide, cherry, tongue depressor, clit slit, hatchet
wound, honey pot, quim, meat massager, chacha,
stinkhole, black hole of calcutta, cock socket, pink
taco, bottomless pit, dead clam, cum crack, twat,
rattlesnake canyon, bush, cunny, flaps, fuzz box,
fuzzy wuzzy, gash, glory hole, grumble, man in the
boat, mud flaps, mound, peach, pink, piss flaps, the
fish flap, love rug, vadge, the furry cup,
stench-trench, wizard’s sleeve, DNA dumpster, tuna
town, split dick, bikini bizkit, cock holster,
cockpit, snooch, kitty kat, poody tat, grassy knoll,
cold cut combo, Jewel box, rosebud, curly curtains,
furry furnace, slop hole, velcro love triangle, nether
lips, where Uncle’s doodle goes, altar of love,
cupid’s cupboard, bird’s nest, bucket, cock-chafer,
love glove, serpent socket, spunk-pot, hairy doughnut,
fun hatch, spasm chasm, red lane, stinky speedway,
bacon hole, belly entrance, nookie, sugar basin, sweet
briar, breakfast of champions, wookie, fish mitten,
fuck pocket, hump hole, pink circle, silk igloo,
scrambled eggs between the legs, black oak, Republic
of Labia, juice box, Golden Palace, fetus flaps,
skins, sausage wallet. Holiest of Holies, sugar hole,
The Death of Adam, home plate, Deer Hoof, Golden
Arches, Cats Paw, Mule Nose, Yo Yo Smuggler, Mumbler
(Aussie), Dinner Roll, Crotch Waffle, Piss Fenders,
crack, Melvin, Dove Breast, Brakepads, Vedgie, Slurpy,
Vacuum Vulva, Pastrami Flaps, Hot Tamaki Walk, Buffalo
Gums, Rooster Jaws, Wagon Ruts, Beaver Teeth, Mumble
Pants (Sweden), Ninja Boot, Marcia (Aussie), Skin
Canoe, Fatty, Mossy Jaw, The Big W, Chia Hole, Lip
Jeans, Beetle Hood, Hungry Minge, Sausage Wallet,
Front Bottom, Welly Top, Frum, Pancake Fold, Tongue
Roll, Bologna Flap-Over, Furrogi (Poland), Fortune
Nookie (China), Bearded Taco, Calamari Cockring,
Displabia, Slot Pocket, Bluntfrunt, Fishamjig, Pole
Magnet, Pocket Pie, Clamarama, kitty cage, Chicken’s
tongue, Conch shell, Crack of heaven, Dog’s mouth,
Door of life, Fly catcher, Fruit cup, Jelly roll,
Lobster pot, bunny tuft, KNISH, her asshole neighbor,
lotus, nappy dugout, moneymaker, womens weapon, tackle
box, bone hider, red sea, pizzo, JIZZ RECEPTICLE, The
Helmut Hide-A-Way, hairy heaven, furry 8 ball rack,
crave cave, arbys with fur, fish canyon, toolshed,
snake charmer, Furby, Enchilada of love, Ham sandwich,
Camarillo brillo, Brazilian caterpillar, dick rack,
boy in the canoe, flesh tuxedo, Mound of Venus, queef
quarters, Venus butterfly, cooter, cream canal,
poontang pie, wet mark, private area, thresher,
punash, salami garage, tunnel of love, slurpee
machine, pink cookie, penalty box, ground zero, meat
crease, bait, birth canal, holy grail, pole hole, pork
pie, fuzz bucket, one-eyed python trail, bubble gum by
the bum, stink rink, theme park, saloon doors, pink
truffle, bitter & twisted, burger bar, meat counter,
temperamental ringpiece, python syphon, big bud, the
Wombsday Book, the condo downstate, snake lake, the
indoor barbecue, pound cake, beef tomato, tickled
pink, launch pad, horn of plenty, the indoor picnic,
hamper of goodies, flapped bap, bonefish, close
encounter with the turd kind, sperm bank, man’s
charity bash, bush tucker, midnight dip, the one-door
vulva, the welcome opponent, the Twatlantic Ocean,
temporary lodgings, field of dreams, bean, cooze, old
catchers mitt, devil’s hole, lucy, pish buffet,
pooswaa, poonaner, davey jones locker, pink panther,
tinker bell, south mouth, dick eater, wonder bread,
wolly bolly, foxhole, hot pocket, head catcher,
Lawrence of A Labia, silk funnel, dick driver, purple
people penis eater, meat curtains, ponchita, cherry
pop tart, fat rabbit, scunt, pee jaws, mingus, The
Notorious V.A.G., stench trench, poon jab, nappy
dugout, babyoven, penis parking, cooter muffin, the
promised land, cock pocket, cha cha, the shrine, bitch
ditch, fury pink mink, mammal hole, ever-lasting cum
stopper, the toothless blow job, happy flappy, wilt
chamberlian’s daily glove, the code defierthe salt
water taffy factory, mommy’s pie, the easy bake oven,
the deflower patch, the virginator, the schlong
sucker, the dea bone patch, the vegitarian’s
temptation, the vegan store, the blow hole, the pump
protector, bag pipe, Spitball Bullseye, meat wagon,
pickle stinker, jezebel’s smell, yoni, willys haven,
scrumpter, peach, sweat box, yeast pocket, penis
warmer, tampon tunnel, penis pothole, cucumber canal,
egg drop Box, sperm shack, dick dungeon, cock curator,
b.o.b.’s bungalow, mommy parts, tuna pot pie, nice
slice, peter vise, cock sock, rack of clam, peters
grove, penis purse, grandest canyon, fish dish, banana
box, tuna spread, pink portal, count fapula, red river
gorge, happy valley, revolving in/out door, baby
zipper, richards house, stop-n-pop, bone polisher,
packin shack, weiner wrap, clap trap, camel toe, dildo
hotel, axe gash, pearl hotel, sea food six pack, clam
canal, coose canal, dick deposit, wand waxer, vidgie,
erie canal, candy kiss, gauntlet, round mound of
beehound,lick n’ stick, lap flounder, tomahawk chop,
chin-chin, pachinko, cuntry pie, lip tip, the big
casino, one eyed worm hole, amazon forest, cock cave,
fuck donut, coochie pop, babby, wet seal, pissy froth
hole, bald biscuit, the unmentionable, mans ruin,
peeshie, hairy potter, courtney cocksleve, panty
hamster,deep pink, jaws of life, gizmo, faith, cock
magnet, slippery slide, Meat tunnel, pink heaven,
squid, dick basket, hot spot, poochika, pudding, bowl,
love cave, squeeze-box, quim, honey pot, the bone
collector, goodie basket, depository, pink turtleneck,
bread-box, little debbie, pole hole, pandora’s
box,snail tracker, cuntzilla, homebase, pud pocket,
bear trap, indian bones and the temple of poon,
chanch, big montana, noochie, choot, golden valley,
nappy roots, dick mitten, mystical fold, beef flaps.

If that wasn’t enough, Bob & Tom have even created a hilarious song to celebrate man’s best friend.