Ever wonder what it’s like to hear R2D2 utter the epic name, “Blogging Boner?”

Fear not.

The glorious droid audio is right here.

Those who say midgets like Kenny Baker have no talent are just dumb. It’s got to be so hard to learn an all-new, far-out intergalactic space language.

He sounds fluent.

And the wagon she’s draggin’ is not fake.

B’dunkadunk.

Blogging Boner wishes Reggie Bush dies or is burned alive so far beyond recognition that he comes out looking like Joel Sonnenberg.

That’ll teach him.

Final thought: Is it even possible to have a fake ass that looks like that? Brazilian butt lift master Dr. Griffin couldn’t even stuff that much junk in a trunk.

Too bad it sucks so hard indoors. Not even Sydney Crosby — or one “Winter Classic” — can change that.