… because just when he went to order UFC 74: “Respect” the little booger went and did some crazy shit like puke on the remote control.

What a great spot. The only better spot is on the neck. When Blogging Boner gets real heated he tells punks, “Hey, step and I will puke on your neck!”

It’s an amazing deterrent and sounds cool as shit.

Anyway, the tan-colored mucous glop pictured above was basically formula. Not Mother’s Milk or hour-hold pureed squash.

It still made the buttons all sticky.

Verizon Wireless has a monopoly on cell phone service.

And it’s not because the phones are off the hizzy or the commercials are funny. Nope, the only reason Verizon has customers is because it has the most reliable nationwide service.

Don’t believe Blogging Boner?

Try Sprint, T-Mobile, AT&T or any of the other garbage providers … then we can chat (if you can get a signal, of course).

One would venture to guess that having reliable service is a pretty big deal. But at what cost?

The other day Blogging Boner got a monthly statement from Verizon for nearly $500. Now, Blogging Boner and Mrs. Boner have the “Family Share” plan, which apparently means we share utter stupidity.

Either that or the folks at Verizon made a major blunder.

Regardless, Blogging Boner is not paying that outrageous charge — monopoly be damned. That’s just retarded. Now all Blogging Boner needs is a fancy equation.

What now bitches?